Five Go Mad In Picton*
Topic: Travel
On Thursday we took what should have been a routine 3 hour ferry crossing to New Zealand's South Island, only this became more of a 6 hour crossing, after an unknown altercation on board, which meant we had to sail back into Wellington, whereby one of the crew members had to be rushed to Hospital from the port.

Fortunately, we eventually docked in the Port of Picton, on the South Island, where we were greeted by Becky, Greg and Caitlan's former neighbour in Wellington. Becky had been holed up in Picton for the last three months, and had actually been trying to leave for the past week as her visa was about to expire, meaning she would be due to fly back home to England the following Monday. As we discovered, Picton was a very difficult place to escape from, as this I felt was the real New Zealand. A place where everyone knew who you are, and what you'd been up to. Also, the village saying was, "no one's your cousin after dark", which kinda summed it up really.

In the evening we headed for Becky's local, an Irish pub, going by the name of Seumuss - Traditional Irish Hook, run by Alistair and Liz Hawthorne, hailing from Ulster. Here we discovered was the real hub of the town, and much drunken revellery ensued. Tradition has that new people to the town had to perform an Irish Jig on the barrell set up in the middle of the pub, so of course I couldn't refuse the offer (I believe there were photos taken of the incident, fortunately not on on my camera, so they won't be appearing anywhere near this website in the near future).

One anomolly about Picton was the existence of the space age toilet, similar to Supa-Loo, only it actually gave you a time limit of 10 minutes to go about your business before the door opened automatically and thrust you back into the street, regardless of whether you had finished what you were doing or not. It also pipped in Boogie-Woogie style piano music, so it was almost like you having Jools Holland performing the loo while you went about your business.

The four of us stayed in the Sequoia lodge for the night, and the following morning I made a solemn vow never to drink adin, well not until Australia at any rate. The next day we got treated to tea and coco pops in bed (after much pursuding of Becky, I might add). From there we convened to one of the local cafe's for further sustanence (I had hot/pancakes, as has become the tradition on the jaunt round the world), and tossed bits of food to the waiting seagulls. As we left for the bay we heard an almighty crash, as about a dozen gulls descended on the table to pick over any left overs. We sat for sometime skimming stones, until it was time to make a move for Kaikoura, our next port of call.

Greg hired a car and drove it back to the hostel, following Becky in hers, leaving me and Caitlan to try and negotiaite our way back to the hostel on two decrepit bikes from the hostel, which is probably one of the most terrifying things I have ever experienced as having not ridden a bike for almost a decade, there was a very real danger of falling off, or riding headlong into the oncoming traffic, which it being Picton wasn't particularlly heavy, but there was still a real enough danger that I could have done myself an injury, We also got lost several times, and at one point we were greeted by the sound of air raid sirens, bringing forth images of the London Blitz. It however later transpired that we weren't being bombed by the Luftwaffe, and this was actually the siren call to Picton's fire service which works on a part time basis, as there'd been a road smash on the outskirts of the town.

We bade Picton and Becky farwell around 4pm, and headed off for Kaikoura (still don't know if she made it back to her planned destination of Wellington that night, chances are she'll still be in Picton when we head back to the ferry on Monday).

On the way we pulled up on the coast where the wind was blowing a gale, and came across a seal colony. We watched the seals as they set about yawning, blinking and flopping over the rocks and pebbles, and stared backm up at us. But soon it was time to head on into Kaikoura, with our planned Whale Watching session the next day.

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Remember that book I brought from England, left in Auckland, and bought again in Wellington? Turns out, the second half's all written in German.

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As you can see I'm a wee bit behind at the moment. I'll try and get some stuff about our escapades in Kaikoura and Hamner Springs in the next few days. And the photos are looking pretty damn good, so I'll try and get them up soon as well.

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*The fifth member of course being Timmy the Dog.

Taking Time Out in Wellington
Topic: Travel
Since arriving in Wellington on Sunday night, I feel I may have hit something resembling what could be interpreted as a proverbial wall, with regards to the number of sites viewed and activities taken part in. This may in part be to do with meeting up with Mr Gregory Hopton of Longmead Avenue fame (my former housemate), and Ms Caitlan Dula, also of Longmead Avenue fame (but never my housemate), but mainly because I'm knackered.

Dear Caitlan has been my guide for the past three days, due to Greg having to work for a living at the moment, but we have accomplished a tour round the Te Papa centre (Wellington's museum), which is much more interactive than the Auckland Museum, in that they have a load of games to play. We did also make it to the Botanical Gardens via Wellington's Cable Car, which to be honest struck me as being more of a train than a cable car, as not once did it leave the ground to be suspended hundreds of feet in the air.
Our time in the garden itself was short lived due to the heavens opening upon us.

Wellington itself is enclosed by a panorama of hillsides, making it a compact city, which can never become a sprawling metropolis. It also has a large number of electric buses, which run like the trams in Blackpool, as in the streets have large runs of cables criss crossing the skyline, which the buses run off via conductors attached to their roofs. Which means, should a bus ever make a sudden sharp turn and become detached from the cable runs, it would instantly grind to a halt.

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Off to the South Island tomorrw with Greg and Cait on the ferry, where we plan to do some wine tasting, whale watching, and maybe some Kayaking. Whether I'll be in a position to write an update in the next few days, I'm not too sure. Do they even have the Internet on the South Island? Do they have eletricity?

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Well wha'd'ya know, was in Wellington for less than 24 hours, and the first branch of Whitcoulls bookshop I pop into (more hopeful than anything else), what do I find, but a fresh new copy of Louise Wener's 'The Half Life of Stars'. Sure, it was more than double the price of the copy I brought from England and left in Wellington, but what the hell.

Must try not to lose this copy, at least, not until I've actually finished reading it anyway. Still, just think how my purchase may have increased Ms Wener's royalties abroad, by oohh, 0.00000001p I expect.

Slow Train To Wello
Now Playing: Inbetweener - Sleeper
Topic: Travel

My time in Auckland culminated in a half hour hike up Mount Eden (almost scuppered by a deluge of rain in the morning), the highest point in the City, and also a one time ferocious steaming volcano. Unlike the volcanoes you get in the movies (all craggy and molten), this one was more akin to a golf bunker with its fine and green lawns. Still, it would'v been a bugger to swing your golf ball out again.

Spent Sunday on a train bound for Wellington. The Overlander is a twelve hour journey travelling through rolling hills, mountainous ranges, and lush greenland. And the whole time, all I could think about was "oh sh**, I've gone and left my book back in Auckland".

To make matters worse, it was a damn good book, and I was only half way through reading it, and I was just getting to the really good bits. Plus, it was written by Louise Wener (The Secret Life of Stars), the ex-lead singer of '90s Britpop band Sleeper, and so the chances of me actually being able to track down another copy on my travels out here, are practically null.

Auckland Photos
Topic: Travel
Photos from the Auckland leg are online now at the predictably titled Auckland Photos.

Hi, I'm in Waiheke and I can't move for this sunshine, rolling hills, sandy beaches, awesome views.....
Now Playing: Nothing by Puppy Killer (see the gig review at the end)
And so I leave behind the bustling cosmopolitan streets of Auckland for the day, and set sail for the serene and peaceful setting of Waiheke Island, a mere 35 minute boat trip away from Auckland wharf.

I thought it wise that I join a tour group for this, and I even made some notes, so excuse me while I plagerise the tour guide's spiel, but here we go:

Waiheke is Maori for Cascading Water. The Island has a population of 8,000 permanent inhabitants, but in summer this can rise to a massive 30,000. 1,000 people from Auckland, commute to Waiheke daily, on the hourly ferry service. Waiheke's main industry is wine, and the island amasses a total of 40 vineyards, of which a bottle of wine has been known to have fetched $1,000,000 at auction. Other industries include olive groves, and the cultivating of Macademia Nuts.

Housing on Waiheke is expensive, and I mean, very. A small holiday apartment will set you back $0.25 million. You can get a three bedroom house for $2.7 million, or a four bedroom for $4 million. Or, if you're feeling really flush, the most expensive house on the island is $26 million, but then, it is the size of a hotel. So, it's no wonder that a large number of Waiheke's inhabitants are either artists, novelists, musicians, or work in the media industry.

However, to get around such hefty house prices, a number of inhabitants have their houses built on the mainland, and shipped over.

Waiheke has no water system. Water is collected from roofs, and stored in tanks. If a household were to run out of water in summer, they would need to order water in. A delivery would cost around $500. Similarly, there is no sewerage system, instead the Waiheke people use septic tanks.

Power to the island is provided by a large under water cable, fed from the mainland.

Entertainment in Waiheke is provided by a large drive-in cinema, 3 storey's high.

You got all that? phew.

Anyway, the tour guide deposited those who wished to stay further, in the island's main town, Oneroa. And, may I be first to recommend getting dinner at the Island Queen Cafe and Restaurant, which serves, wait for it.... Lamb Casserole.

I said Lamb Casserole!!!!

That's Lamb flamin' Casserole, on a bed of mash. Shame I couldn't finish it all, as the portion was huge, and I'd only had breakfast a few hours ago, but its situated at 124 Ocean View Rd, Oneroa.

Anyway, the weather was gorgeuous, the beaches were superb, and the views were awesome (damnit, used that word again). After a stroll along the beach and through the rolling hills, it was soon time to return to the mainland, and to check-out up and coming local band, the charmlingly titled Puppy Killer, who were playing a free gig in Auckland's hippest music store, Groovy Records, where Auckland's entire rock fraternity had appeared to have turned out en mass, to witness the city's favorite'd sons as they strive to break into the big time. And on this evidence, I doubt they have a hope in hell.

From the outset, the band look like they want to be Green Day, and the second guitarist/vocalist looks like he wishes he had been in EMF, then they appear to be trying to rip off half a dozen Ska bands. There are one or two flashes where you think they're actually going to start being good, but they quickly revert to type. It's pretty mundane stuff, to be honest, so don't expect to be hearing much of Puppy Killer back home.

Which probably means they'll be huge within six months...

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I neglected to mention that I'd found a greasy spoon that does all day breakfast, and Internet access for only a doller an hour (the cheapest in Auckland). So expect much clooging of arteries, oh yes...

Yogurt
Topic: Travel
I still can't get my head round this. The strong pound means that most food in New Zealand is relatively cheap. You can purchase a portion of chicken and noodle soup with seaweed side salad (mmmm, salty) from the vatious Asian cusine food halls, for around $8, which roughly equates to 3 quid. So, while browsing the mini market shelves today, I thought I'd treat myself to a four pack of yogurt. Rather odd I thought that a large number of four packs had been split up into separates, but at $1.29 you can't go wrong. So imagine my surprise when the cashier scanned the yogurt's barcode not once, not twice, not even three times, but a total of four times over; making a grand total of $5.18 for four yogurts. That's over 2 quid! And we're not talking about your top end of the market yogurt such as your muller lites or your fruit corners, no, this is more your Tesco home brand yogurt, which shouldn't come to more than 80 or 90p, even if you are shopping at the Tesco Metro, with its higher than normal pricing policy. Anyway, all I could think about, as I handed over my $5.18 was my God, these yogurts had better be good.

Anyway, the good news is I have done slightly more than just muse about yogurt, as I discovered somewhere that serves up meals of roast chicken. Woohoo!

But still no lamb, although I did see somewhere that was serving lamb shank at $30 a pop. Must've come from the same place that did the yogurt.

Anyway, got my cultural fill of the holiday, by visiting the Auckland Museum, where we were treated to some traditional Maori tribal dances.

Also checked out Auckland Zoo, and Western Spring Park next door, both of which are absolutely huge and, erm, awesome (damnit, there's that word again) but as they are best served from a visual viewpoint, I'll let the photos do the talking just as soon as they're uploaded. Although, while in the zoo I did feel I should've brought a toddler along, as the place was awash with young mothers and fathers with their various offspring.

Went up the Sky Tower, and laughed at the fools who had paid good money to Base Jump off the top. The Sky Tower lies atop Sky City, which is basically a huge casino, notable for its Grab A Grand element, last seen on Noel's House Party in the early '90s, whereby one lucky punter is given the chance to Grab A Grand from the wind filled tank if their ticket is pulled from the tombolar.

Oh yeah, the yogurt? Wasn't very nice.

Notes On LA..........
Things I failed to mention earlier

*Surprise, surprise, The Church of Scientology is rife in LA (think Tom Cruise and his loony birth with Katie Holmes, or Richard Gere and erm, hamsters) and they're not too fussy in who they recruit. On my person I still have three admit one cards to The L Ron Hubbard Life Exhibition on 6331 Hollywood Boulevard, which I may just decide to distribute randomly around New Zealand, in various phone booths, etc.

*Brazilian guy called Fabio who was staying in our dorm room, used to play regularly with world footballer of the year Ronaldinhio at the tender age of 11. Apparently he wasn't much cop back then, and was always last to be picked when they were choosing teams.

*Taxes suck in LA. You think you're getting a good deal until they add the tax on to everything, and then if you're eating out you're expected to tip 15%, so costs soon add up.

*The gorgeous Smokin' Mary Jane from the USA Hostels Hollywood Comedy night has her own website at www.smokingmaryjane.net, but some areas of the site are a bit rude, so go carefully kids.

- Hey people, let us know you're reading this stuff. Post me a message by clicking on Post Your Comments after any entry. Let us know what's happening back in Blighty. Cheers.

Hello, I'm in Auckland and I can't move for all this damn Sushi...
Urban legend has it that for every New Zealander, there are four sheep. I have been in Auckland for two days now and have seen zero sheep, and a hell of alot of Noodle Bars. Somewhat surprisingly, Auckland appears to have an incredibly large number of immigrants from China and Japan (something you never got from watching Kiwi soap Shortland St), resulting in countless Japanese and Chinese eateries. So far in Auckland, I have consumed three meals consisting of either curry or noodle based food stuffs. To be honest, I'm a bit sick of it already. I pine for some authentic Kiwi cuisine, i.e. lamb. But alas, so far I have struggled to find it, the only other alternative being McDonalds, Burger King, or variations therein. Admittedly, McDonalds has so far served me the past two mornings for breakfast, where I have dined on Hot Cakes (for Hot Cakes, read Pancakes, something I appear to have become addicted to, after having them every morning for breakfast in LA).

Anyway, I am currently residing in Auckland Central Backpackers, comprising of ten floors of dormitary rooms, it's own Internet Cafe, kitchen, laundrette (which I must make use of very soon, or risk having to double up on underwear), and it's own bar. Size wise, it's a hell of a lot bigger than USA Hostel Hollywood, and therefore loses out in the same feeling of intimacy.

The hostel is just off Queen St, which is the main street in Auckland, and round the corner is the Sky Tower (bigger than the Eiffel), which you can climb to the top kitted out in hard hat and climbing gear, and then base jump off the summit for a small fortune, which fortunately my insurance does not quite run too, so the chances of me carrying out such a fete are practically null.

Further down the road is the Britomart, comprising of the bus and train station, and then the wharf, where you can catch a ferry to Waheke islands nearby.

Checked out Kelly Taritons Underwater World yesterday which has countless stingray, which you can get in the tank with, again for a small fortune. And they have penguins, which is always good to see.

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Up at 6.45am this morning to catch Vilareal v Arsenal in the Champions League semi-final second leg. The boys played like tosh, but kept a clean sheet thanks to Jen Lehmann's penalty save in the last few minutes, so we go through with the single goal from the first leg. WE'RE IN THE FINAL!!!!!

Sweet Dreams My LAX.................
Topic: Travel

Ameoba Music is without doubt the largest record store you are likely to find, in the world, anywhere. Fact! Even bigger than the Virgin Megastore on Hollywood, which is hey, pretty damn bug. And if I were so inclined, it would probably be the main over-riding reason that I would end up moving to LA for. So huge, and impressive (steady), that it just begged to have a photo taken of its interiors.

Anyway, that's it. LA done and dusted. I may have failed to have visited the Hollywood sign, the beach, the Jewish quarter, and Universal Studios, but I s'pose there's always next time. If my connection on the way back to New York gets cancelled, I could always hang out in LA some more.

Special mention should go to the staff of USA Hostels Hollywood, as without them it wouldn't have been half as much fun. Okay, the shower sucked, and I've had enough pancakes for breakfast to last me a lifetime, but you can't have everything.

Next stop, Auckland..............

LA Photos
Photos from LA are now online and can be viewed at LA Photo Story