Yogurt
Topic: Travel
I still can't get my head round this. The strong pound means that most food in New Zealand is relatively cheap. You can purchase a portion of chicken and noodle soup with seaweed side salad (mmmm, salty) from the vatious Asian cusine food halls, for around $8, which roughly equates to 3 quid. So, while browsing the mini market shelves today, I thought I'd treat myself to a four pack of yogurt. Rather odd I thought that a large number of four packs had been split up into separates, but at $1.29 you can't go wrong. So imagine my surprise when the cashier scanned the yogurt's barcode not once, not twice, not even three times, but a total of four times over; making a grand total of $5.18 for four yogurts. That's over 2 quid! And we're not talking about your top end of the market yogurt such as your muller lites or your fruit corners, no, this is more your Tesco home brand yogurt, which shouldn't come to more than 80 or 90p, even if you are shopping at the Tesco Metro, with its higher than normal pricing policy. Anyway, all I could think about, as I handed over my $5.18 was my God, these yogurts had better be good.

Anyway, the good news is I have done slightly more than just muse about yogurt, as I discovered somewhere that serves up meals of roast chicken. Woohoo!

But still no lamb, although I did see somewhere that was serving lamb shank at $30 a pop. Must've come from the same place that did the yogurt.

Anyway, got my cultural fill of the holiday, by visiting the Auckland Museum, where we were treated to some traditional Maori tribal dances.

Also checked out Auckland Zoo, and Western Spring Park next door, both of which are absolutely huge and, erm, awesome (damnit, there's that word again) but as they are best served from a visual viewpoint, I'll let the photos do the talking just as soon as they're uploaded. Although, while in the zoo I did feel I should've brought a toddler along, as the place was awash with young mothers and fathers with their various offspring.

Went up the Sky Tower, and laughed at the fools who had paid good money to Base Jump off the top. The Sky Tower lies atop Sky City, which is basically a huge casino, notable for its Grab A Grand element, last seen on Noel's House Party in the early '90s, whereby one lucky punter is given the chance to Grab A Grand from the wind filled tank if their ticket is pulled from the tombolar.

Oh yeah, the yogurt? Wasn't very nice.

Notes On LA..........
Things I failed to mention earlier

*Surprise, surprise, The Church of Scientology is rife in LA (think Tom Cruise and his loony birth with Katie Holmes, or Richard Gere and erm, hamsters) and they're not too fussy in who they recruit. On my person I still have three admit one cards to The L Ron Hubbard Life Exhibition on 6331 Hollywood Boulevard, which I may just decide to distribute randomly around New Zealand, in various phone booths, etc.

*Brazilian guy called Fabio who was staying in our dorm room, used to play regularly with world footballer of the year Ronaldinhio at the tender age of 11. Apparently he wasn't much cop back then, and was always last to be picked when they were choosing teams.

*Taxes suck in LA. You think you're getting a good deal until they add the tax on to everything, and then if you're eating out you're expected to tip 15%, so costs soon add up.

*The gorgeous Smokin' Mary Jane from the USA Hostels Hollywood Comedy night has her own website at www.smokingmaryjane.net, but some areas of the site are a bit rude, so go carefully kids.

- Hey people, let us know you're reading this stuff. Post me a message by clicking on Post Your Comments after any entry. Let us know what's happening back in Blighty. Cheers.

Hello, I'm in Auckland and I can't move for all this damn Sushi...
Urban legend has it that for every New Zealander, there are four sheep. I have been in Auckland for two days now and have seen zero sheep, and a hell of alot of Noodle Bars. Somewhat surprisingly, Auckland appears to have an incredibly large number of immigrants from China and Japan (something you never got from watching Kiwi soap Shortland St), resulting in countless Japanese and Chinese eateries. So far in Auckland, I have consumed three meals consisting of either curry or noodle based food stuffs. To be honest, I'm a bit sick of it already. I pine for some authentic Kiwi cuisine, i.e. lamb. But alas, so far I have struggled to find it, the only other alternative being McDonalds, Burger King, or variations therein. Admittedly, McDonalds has so far served me the past two mornings for breakfast, where I have dined on Hot Cakes (for Hot Cakes, read Pancakes, something I appear to have become addicted to, after having them every morning for breakfast in LA).

Anyway, I am currently residing in Auckland Central Backpackers, comprising of ten floors of dormitary rooms, it's own Internet Cafe, kitchen, laundrette (which I must make use of very soon, or risk having to double up on underwear), and it's own bar. Size wise, it's a hell of a lot bigger than USA Hostel Hollywood, and therefore loses out in the same feeling of intimacy.

The hostel is just off Queen St, which is the main street in Auckland, and round the corner is the Sky Tower (bigger than the Eiffel), which you can climb to the top kitted out in hard hat and climbing gear, and then base jump off the summit for a small fortune, which fortunately my insurance does not quite run too, so the chances of me carrying out such a fete are practically null.

Further down the road is the Britomart, comprising of the bus and train station, and then the wharf, where you can catch a ferry to Waheke islands nearby.

Checked out Kelly Taritons Underwater World yesterday which has countless stingray, which you can get in the tank with, again for a small fortune. And they have penguins, which is always good to see.

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Up at 6.45am this morning to catch Vilareal v Arsenal in the Champions League semi-final second leg. The boys played like tosh, but kept a clean sheet thanks to Jen Lehmann's penalty save in the last few minutes, so we go through with the single goal from the first leg. WE'RE IN THE FINAL!!!!!

Sweet Dreams My LAX.................
Topic: Travel

Ameoba Music is without doubt the largest record store you are likely to find, in the world, anywhere. Fact! Even bigger than the Virgin Megastore on Hollywood, which is hey, pretty damn bug. And if I were so inclined, it would probably be the main over-riding reason that I would end up moving to LA for. So huge, and impressive (steady), that it just begged to have a photo taken of its interiors.

Anyway, that's it. LA done and dusted. I may have failed to have visited the Hollywood sign, the beach, the Jewish quarter, and Universal Studios, but I s'pose there's always next time. If my connection on the way back to New York gets cancelled, I could always hang out in LA some more.

Special mention should go to the staff of USA Hostels Hollywood, as without them it wouldn't have been half as much fun. Okay, the shower sucked, and I've had enough pancakes for breakfast to last me a lifetime, but you can't have everything.

Next stop, Auckland..............

LA Photos
Photos from LA are now online and can be viewed at LA Photo Story

Down and Out in Beverley Hills
Now Playing: City of Angels - The Distillers
Topic: Travel
Friday's main destination was a tour round the houses of the rich and famous, in Bel Air and Beverley Hills.

The first thing we noticed when we piled off the bus at the foot of Bel Air, was the stretches of the greenest grass you are ever likely to see, especially if you live in another part of LA. In Hollywood, there is no grass.

Unfortunately, we were unable to get within spitting distance of the majority of the mansions, due to their preference of having incredibly large walls and huge gates. We were however lucky enough to get sight of one of Huw Hefner's "girl-friends" speeding out of the Playboy mansion in a red ferrari. And, boy, she crunched those gears like a pro. We also chatted to one of Huw's security guards via a speaker grill set in a boulder by the gate. Actually, there was some suspicion that he might actually be living in the boulder.


I decided to keep photos of what we could see of the various mansions, to a minimum, as the chances of actually remembering who owed which house, was more or less null. I did snap George Harrison's house, and Walter Matthius
(pictured), basically because they were so different from the rest. George's was very Eastern style and hippy-esque, and to be honest I don't know what the hell was going on with Matthius's.

Our tour guide Jimmy, warned us that on a previous tour, Elton John had stormed out of his mansion, giving blue murder to the tour party for taking photos, until David Furnace dragged him away, and mopped his troubled brow. So, it was no surprise that any of us were less than enthusiastic to take any photos.

Saw the gates leading up to Danny Devito's house. Jimmy informed us that they used to leave the gates open, until a guy on a previous tour thought it would be hilarious to try and open a Fed-Ex package that had been dropped off for him. So it came as no real surprise that Devito clan now favour keeping their gate shut.

However, the biggest highlight came at the end of the tour, where we were given the opportunity to take a pee in George Michael's favourite restroom. You know what I'm talking about!

Ate in a Mexican fast food place serving giant Berrito's, and saw some unknown actor guy who was doing the whole "Look at me, I'm an actor, cos I've got shades and I'm wearing a suit jacket and a shirt, and I'm constantly checking myself" spiel.

Hung out in the lounge in the evening, where Jimmy (again) almost killed me by pouring measures of Rum and Coke which were nine parts rum and one part coke. Met a loud of South American girls, though nuff respect to the blond Aussie girl, who had such a mouth on her, but God, she was so adorable that you could just put her in your pocket and take her home.

Partied round a bar just off Hollywood, and a club nearby, until things became very sketchy, and I thought it best that I retire to my bed before I pass out.

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Woke to discover we'd only drew 1-1 with Spurs. Bastards!

Here's One I Made Earlier
Topic: Travel
Well, that was slightly disappointing. Apparently Noel's far too busy to work on the US edition of Deal or No Deal. So instead they've ropped in the Hood-like character of Howie Mandelson, the direct opposite of our Noel, totally lacking in any facial hair, apart from a wispy goatee adorning his lower lip. Instead of boxes, we have cases, and instead of members of the public, each case is controlled by one of 26 glamourous models.

Our contestant today is housewife Shirley, who claims to be clairvoyant, but not so much that she gets anywhere near the top prize of $1,000,000. Instead she does walk home with the bankers offer of $98,000. Not a bad amount by any means. Along the way, Shirley managed to break the bankers phone, causing a hasty halt in proceeding, while model 11 knocks her case from its stand. It goes out on May 10th on NBC, so go watch it people, if you can.

The afternoon was spent playing spot the celeb in the Grove shopping centre, where the rich and famous go to shop. Believe you me, not even I thought we could beat yesterday's spotting of that bloke who apparently hosted Survivor, but beat it we did!. As we saw (and stalked) none other than Children's BBC favourites, and ex-Blue Peter presenters, Richard Bacon and Konni Huq!

We decided against approaching them, which is probably just as well, as all I could think of saying would've been along the lines of "Hi Konni, I really love your work, and Richard, I really loved it when you got fired from Blue Peter for snorting cocaine." Probably, just as well...


Anyway, on the way back we stumbled upon a premier at the American Cinematheque (pictured), where no one there seemed to know what the film was, or who it was they were waiting for. Although, some randon girl-midget did stumble down the red carpet at some point.
Went drinking in the evening, or would have, had I brought some ID, so couldn't get any alcohol in the first place we went to (must've been my boysih good looks), but the bartender did shout me a free OJ, something you wouldn't get anywhere in Britain.

Ended up drinking a two-pint glass of stout in the next bar, and then decided it might be better if I called it a night and stumbled home. The others got stiched up like kippers, by paying $20 to get into a strip joint which served no alcohol, and then got kicked out again after a 5 minute dance. One born every minute.

Yes, we really were quite literally, Drinking in LA
Topic: Travel
Anyway, Arsenal won 1-0, although it should've been more, as we watched the match in the quasi-Irish bar which turned out was run by Americans as opposed to Spaniards. Though we had to beg them to switch over to the match as they had baseball on. It was on ESPN2 for future reference, which I believe may also be the case for Aussie and NZ. Anyway, had three pints of Boddingtons over lunch (the cream of LA?) - which really helped to cure the jetlag - and a shepherds pie.



The afternoon was spent mountineering up Ranyon Canyon, which is more of a bloody great hill, than a canyon. It was somewhat misleading that every time we thought we'd reached the summit, another peak appeared in the distance, which we just had to climb.

The Canyon is renowned as the place to be to see famous people walking their dogs. So imagine our delight and surprise when we saw none other than the host of Survivor. And to be honest, the only reason any of us knew he was the host of Survivor was because Jimmy our guide pointed him out to us. And also he was wearing a baseball cap with the words "I'm the host of Survivor" emblazoned across the front in big lettering.

Anyway those three pints I'd had at lunchtime not only helped the jetlag, but also really aided us in the climb. Still it was worth it for the views at the top, which can only be described as "awesome" (I'm somewhat afraid that, this phrase may well become a part of my regular vocabulary).

It was interesting to note that they had all these signs up in the Canyon, telling dog walkers to make sure they bring "Doggie Bags" to clear their dog's mess with. So, if you're ever in a restaurant in America, I'd refrain from asking for a Doggie Bag, if you find you can't quite finish your meal.

Anyway, the walk back was alot easier as it was downhill. And while walking via the Kodak Theatre, we got handed free tickets for the taping of Deal Or No Deal on thursday. Finally my dream will come true. I'll get to meet Noel!

Watched some stand-up comedy in the evening, held in the lounge of the hostel, but by this stage I was absolutely 'anging! Worthy of note was "Smokin' Mary Jane" who was suitably surreal, and dead gorgeous to boot. Unfortunately, I had to retire to bed at around 11, so I missed the rest.

23 and a bit hours Party People
Now Playing: Drinking in La - The Bran Van 3000 (predictably)
Topic: Travel
Woo-hoo LA. I feel like I'm on a film set, and the people all around me are merely actors.

The flight over lasted 11 hours, wherby I passed the time by watching The Fugitive starring Harrison Ford a total of 4 times, as the alternatives were films I had either (a) already seen, or be (b) had not intention of seeing as they starred Jim Carey.

Got to the hostel around 4pm local time (that's midnight to the people back home). The Golden Rule when I arrived was that I mustn't sleep, or risk the onrush of jet lag for the rest of my days. Although, one of the guys I spoke to reckoned that as I was making so many trips in the next seven weeks, the chances were that I suffer nothing but jetlag.

Lasted until 9pm local time (5am). So that's a total of 23 hours. Not bad going.

The hostel's on Schrader Boulevard, which is between Sunset Strip and Hollywood Boulevard, with the fabled Hollywood Walk of Fame. Although judging by how few names I recognised on the Walk, I reckon I could get my own star by the end of the week. Yeah, expecially if I used Gold Magic Marker or something.

Anthony, the guy I sat next to on the plane's been given Mel B's home number by one of her mum's friend's (she's one of these Clairvoyant's to the Stars, type people - wonder if she's the same one Glenn Hoddle used?). Yes, Scary Spice has apparently fled the UK and set herself up in Beverly Hills, living off nothing but Spice Girl royalties. Though, I reckon it can't last forever, so that reunion tour we're all crying out for (ha!) can't be too far off.

Spent the morning looking for a bar that's gonna be showing the Arsenal v Villareal match (In an attempt to fit in with the local crowd, I of course wore my Gooner shirt). Natalie, a Gooner from Chiswick, who's been here for a month, seemed hopefull it'd be on in a sports bar on Pal Mal.

Haven't found Pal Mal yet, but did find an authentic Irish Bar, which was of course run by a group of Spaniards.

London to LA.........
Topic: Travel
All things said, I was more than slightly taken aback when I saw the plane I was flying to Los Angeles on.....